Unholy Matrimony
by xImperfectPerfectionistx
Summary: "Boys marry girls, you two, it's just the way it's meant to be."   Matt fully accepts his sexuality. Mello, however, doesn't. But when Matt finally gets a girlfriend, something bubbles up inside Mello.. what's this, Jealousy ? MattxMels/MattxMisa.
1. BUT I LOVE MATT

**I have so many stories running right now (Loljk.. like.. two?) and this will be the.. third… maybe. D: So, after I write this, I'm writing for That Little Blonde Prostitute, and I really need to work on a few other things, plus that stupid book project. So lmao, enjoy this months updates, bitches. I DON'T THINK TINA APPROVES THE PAIRINGS. **

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><p>"Holy fucking Jesus its cold," Mello muttered, rubbing his hands together, "how can you being drinking that?" The boy he was questioning, a feminine redhead drinking some obscure tester drink, simply smiled, silly Bitch being immune to the cold.<p>

"Want me to heat you up?" He teased Mello. You see, the redhead -Matt- was openly gay, especially around Mello. The boy had proclaimed bisexuality when the two shared a room together in Wammy's, and Mello had forced him to sleep in the bathtub, silly homophobic Mello. Although really, how he didn't see it coming was crazy.

However, none of that is important right now, what's important is why those two boys were sat in a freezing car in December, and what exactly they were doing.

Matt pulled something small from the hiptesque bag he carried with him, a booklet for the hotel they were staking out and his fangirl favourite red PsP. Mello hissed when he heard the goddamn annoying final fantasy music burst out, Matt and his shitty JRPGs.

Mello grabbed the console with one hand and opened the window with the other, then using, a hand to hold back a fuming batshit Mattymo Jeevas; he flung it out of the window.

"Do your job and get in there and follow blondie," Mello hissed, "else you can sleep in your own bed again. Oh and just play Persona instead; I'm sick of Final Fantasy."

"Prick" Matt muttered, trudging off to go find the person Mello wanted him to stalk and silently shocked over how Mello actually knew what Persona was. Good doggie.

Matt was never good with girls, they had periods and screamed a lot, so when 'Manly' Mello joined his team of _**fabulous**_ friendship, he was happy... Only to discover that Mello also had a period and screamed like a girl. He also took all the hot water.

Whilst Matt was internally ranting, he failed to notice the person that slammed into him, causing him to lose his footing and fall, bringing the person down with him.

She smelt like lavender.

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><p>The classroom was roaring with life, little children running about and screaming joyously. The teacher wandered around, watching to see what the students were doing. It was card day in reception; they all got to pick the activities they did. Two young boys sat in the corner, giggling and surrounded by paint. The pair were inseparable.<p>

"They're good friends," a friendly voice said from behind the teacher, her assistant. The teacher agreed, approaching the boys and sitting down, her already stained jeans wouldn't mind a little more paint.

"What're you doing you two?" she asked, smiling at them.

The two boys looked up from their giggling with each other and grinned at her, "painting," they replied, scarily in sync, but falling out of it in their second sentence, "we're painting, missus."

One of the boys spoke with a distinguishably Southern English accent, the other, however, did not.

"Ah pretty," she said, upon seeing the strange mural covering the floors of her classroom; stupid, adorable kids.

"Hey Miss," the English one asked, he had brown hair and a softer grin than his devil of a partner, "what did you want to be when you were older when you were little?" he asked.

She was momentarily confused, "Oh, a teacher of course, I can't get enough of you brats, how about you, Matt?"

Even from such a young age, they were given names.

"Oh, I wanna be a fireman," he smiled in that innocent way that only children can, "and marry Mello."

The assistant gasped, staring at the pair, hands clasped together and so confident in their unholy matrimony plans.

"Well that's wrong," the assistant blurted out, only to have the teacher glare at her.

"Y-yes, Matt. Boys are meant to marry girls."

The boy's faces fell.

"But I love Mello," he whispered, confused.

Mello didn't seem to give a damn, he was enjoying painting the cabinets purple, but upon hearing Matt's childish confession he piped up.

"I love Matty too," he exclaimed, "we're going to be together forever."

"That's wrong," the teacher whispered, "boys marry girls, boys love girls, understand?"

"Yes," the two boys replied, letting go of each others hand and sharing a glance.

"Good," the teacher smiled, kissing the tops of their heads, "now it's lunch time, boys!"

The boys yelled happily, their previous 'love' already forgotten.

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><p><strong>Gah this is gonna be fun to write 3 drop a review, kids.<strong>

**My Beta's Note, not endorsed by me:_ B/N Haven't proofed this yet bro's but it's Del so the story is clearly epic. Read and leave her a review! You'll get cookies. :3_**

**Actually, I do endorse that. **


	2. SILLY MATT

**I'm sorry for adoring flashbacks so much. Oh and [Spoiler] the party scene is a flashback [Spoiler/]**

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><p>"I-I'm sorry!" the girl apologized, bowing low.<p>

Matt smiled, steadying the wobbling girl, "No I'm sorry I should watch where I am going."

For the first time, he looked at the girl that he'd just run into. He noticed she was wearing heels and couldn't help but wonder how the hell she managed to run in those things. The girl – I guess she was a woman – was smiling apologetically, her fringe loosening from the clips that had been holding them in place and falling into her face, she was also blonde, and he imagined when she took them heels off, she'd be quite short too.

"I'm Matt," he said finally, grabbing her hand in an all too friendly handshake.

"Pleasure," she said, throwing her arms around him and saying, "you might've just saved my life, Matty."

There was commotion from the end of the street and the two turned round to see a suited man running at them with a stricken face on him.

"Byebye!" the girl said, kissing Matt's cheek briefly and rushing off into one of the alleyways connecting onto the next street.

Matt never even learnt her name.

But god damn it she was hot.

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><p>Mello tapped his fingers against the car door, drumming out a subconscious pattern as he mulled over his droll past. Yes, he's a foster kid. No, his back-story isn't tragic and horrible, his parents didn't want him and he declared himself parentless. Mello hissed, like a cat haha, he regretted throwing Matt's PsP out of the window, because he knew that when Matt got back, if he did, he'd be either drunk, upset, or with some random person he planned on having sex with to spite Mello. However, Mello didn't actually give a shit.<p>

Right?

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><p>Mello didn't like drinking, surprising for the Mello you know, isn't it? But he has his reasons.<p>

"_You have been invited.." _

Mello picked up the invitation, skimming it; it was one of those posters that people staple to trees when they're just having a get together and want to get pissed with strangers.

"_A PARTY." _

"How original," Mello muttered, leaning back in his chair until its back, and his back, touched the sofa. There he rested, re-reading the poster before crumpling it up and throwing it at Matt's head.

Matt unfolded it and tried to get the creases from it, he read the invitation outloud, completely oblivious to Mello's usual intense, nerdy studying. Before crumpling it back up and throwing it at Mello's head.

"Let's go," he said, a smile in his voice, "It's on Friday, right?"

"No," Mello grumbled, "I'm doing stuff on Friday."

"What sitting in the dorms eating and picking on children. Grow up we're fifteen, it'll be fun, and you might get laid."

God damn it, England, why do you insist on us all losing our virginity so young?

Mello chewed on his lip, he did have a point.

"Sure why not," Mello sighed, closing his book, "I'm not wearing that god awful leather you got me for Christmas though."

"It'll grow on you, I swear."

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><p>Wednesday and Thursday passed far too fast for Mello's liking, and he was still fussing over what to wear when Matt was spraying his NATURALLY BROWN GOD DAMN IT hair red. Matt came out of the bathroom in jeans and a thin black shirt, the lanky bastard could get away with wearing really tight jeans, Mello, however, felt like an idiot in them, which is why he was going with your average, slightly tight jeans and a long sleeved white shirt that he chewed the cuff on.<p>

"You're listening too The Cure?" He smirked at Matt, still able to hear music coming from the bathroom.

"Shut up they're amazing," Matt hissed, before changing his facial expression and extending his hand out to Mello, "shall we go, milady?"

"Go fuck yourself, Matt," Mello snarled, "We have to go before anyone catches us."

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><p>Mello was shook from that memorable night by the sound of the car door slamming and Matt screaming something in his hair.<p>

"DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE," it sounded like.

Mello languidly started the car, only to be grabbed and pulled out of the seat and replaced by Matt, who drove as fast as he could out of the car park.

"What're you doing?" Mello asked, biting his thumb; he really missed that white shirt, stupid leather.

"I found that girl, crashed right into her in the middle of the street, then she ran off, and her security guard was like '"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING WITH MISA AMANE BITCH' and I was like 'HOLY WHAT THAT WAS MISA AMANE.. WHO'S SHE?' and he slapped me and I kicked him in the shin like a man and ran for it and I think he's following us and I'm gonna get done for rape!"

"You... raped her?" Mello asked.

"Um no," Matt replied, "get me out a cigarette, if the police pull us over I'd rather look cool ok."

Mello sighed. This is what living with Matt is like.

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><p><strong>Enjoy chapter Deux, meine little Crash Queens and Baka Junges? <strong>

**I hope you did, and the above says Enjoy chapter two my little Crash Queens and stupid boys? Sorry haha. **

**See you next chapter! n_n and find comfort in yourself, what you have's not what you are.**

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><p><strong>BN: Once again, another FABULOUS chapter from Adelay xD So who's MattxMisa and who's MattxMello eh? Review you sexy readers?**


	3. YES THE MATT

**YES THE MATT/MISA FANS FLOCK IN. **

**By flock I mean I forced them here! **

**Why am I writing this, I promise it actually has plot but GOD I LOVE FLASHBACKS. So let's start with one. Finally, all the titles for this story are just random words with "MATT" at the end (Ok so it's what Windows gave me.) Which is why this is called "YES THE MATT" **

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><p>"What do you call something yellow that points north..? A magnetic Banana!"<p>

"Mels that sucked."

You know when you're in so much shit, but you just can't stop cracking bad jokes as a knee jerk reaction? Yeah. That was the morning after. Look, I should explain, it was really rude of me to interrupt my story before it got good.

The party was too… lively. It was too packed with people and it stank of pheromones, cheap wine and Budweiser. Someone approached Matt, offering him a fag.

"Um no I don't smoke thank you," Matt said, smiling.

"What are you a sissy?"

"WOW WHAT AN ADULT THING TO SAY," Matt exclaimed in a camp fashion, before switching to his usual patronizing voice, "give me the damn cigarettes, Kid. What are you, twelve?"

Because Matt was lanky as hell, he could practically get away with it. As far as Mello knew, Matt had never smoked, so he was shocked that he accepted.

Someone else shoved Punch into their hands and screamed something about enjoying the party.

The party sucked. Sucked is such a word. The two boys sat in the patio outside as everyone danced around and passed them. Someone was making out with someone else and they fell into a bush.

"Matt, Mello?" Someone squealed. The two looked around to see Linda stumbling towards them.

The two boys smiled, even if they hated her for existing, stupid Fujoshi.

She sat next to them, her skirt riding up; I guess she got the invite too.

"O-em-gee," she exclaimed, "what the hell are you two doing here? Want something stronger."

"If it'll block out the sound of you talking, yes," Matt said, accepting the bottle she held out and taking a swig. It hurt his mouth.

"Oh you guys are such assholes, why don't you go fuck eachothere, I serious-"

Whilst she was talking, Matt leant over to Mello and whispered in his ear "Whine whine whine, am I right?" he said. Mello shuddered slightly, causing Matt to throw his arm around him.

Mello snatched the bottle off his tipsy friend – if the night continued going south and Matt got gayer, well, Mello wasn't going to want to be sober by the end of it.

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><p>Mello's eyes snapped open, present day. From the other room he could hear the sound of…<p>

SEX

GUNFIRE

MAGIC

FABULOUSNESS.

No, just video games. Oh and a little fabulousness was added into the mix. Mello loved the fabulous.

Wait, what was that?

"_I'm gonna own you," _a soft voice said, it wasn't Matt's.

"_Love to see you try, kid." _Came the reply. Yeah, that was Matt.

Mello sprang from his bed, landing in clothes, tripping, and slamming his nose into the wall.

"BITCHES AND WHORES," he screamed, causing the people in the living room to be quiet.

"_what was that?"_ the voice, sounded feminine and scared asked.

"_My drug addict room mate." _

That lying bastard.

Mello was preparing to get up and go slap some bitches when he heard something else.

Eugh, god, were they making out?

ON MELLO'S NEW GOD DAMN PILLOW COVERS?

Mello crawled over to the door and opened it slightly, not that he had too, they were being loud. Mello kinda felt sorry for the girl, Matt wasn't exactly the best kisser.

Wait.

Mello tumbled forward, the door opening and him sprawling out and banging his head on the sofa.

Matt and the girl stood up, and Mello got to see her. She short in comparison to Matt, her dress was crumpled, and she looked terrified.

"I'm not a druggie." Mello said in monotone, "And stop making out on my sofa damn it."

She smiled, "Helloooo.. I'm Misa."

Mello froze.

Misa.. as in Misa Amane?

He grinned shark teeth, "Matt, you fucking player."

Matt smiled apologetically.

But anyway, what was that about kissing? Mello and Matt didn't kiss, that was a little **too **Sparkly.

"_I love you."_

"_I love you."_

"_I love you." _

"_I fucking love you, Mello."_

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><p><strong>700 words ish.. Not including this! :3<strong>

**WOW guys I'm letting you decide the ending you want on this story, but not yet. :3 **

**B/N: MattxMello or MattxMisa? We're having a "mature discussion" about it here. (It involves bitch slaps, let me tell you) But yeah, let us know what you think bitches. Who else loves baby Matt and Mello? N'aawwww :')**

**TINA THEY'RE NOT IN IT YET. **


	4. WHY IN MATT?

**Chapter 3: WHY IN MATT. **

**Until the earth is moved, or daddy don't approve, whatever happened first, depending on my mood.**

**All these two do is get drunk god. This chapter was thrown together because it's Saturday, and Saturday is painting day. **

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><p>Earlier that day... Before where we are chronologically in the plot but in the same day ok?<p>

Matt stood outside the electronics store, red hair hidden partially under a hat.

Yes, it's red now.

It was the middle of winter, and Matt was bundled up in a scarf, pretty hat, coat, his usual ripped jeans (the idiot) and a short sleeved shirt. And as he'd been going to get conditioner for Mello, he'd come across the electronics stood.

"Helloooooo!" Someone exclaimed, jumping on his back thank god they were light. Matt craned his head around. It was the girl from yesterday, Misa.

She jumped down from his back and stared into the shop, "you're a tech person aren't you?"

"I'm... Yeah sure that," Matt replied, looking round for angry body guards of mobs of fans.

"Well I played Fable."  
>"What like all girls?"<br>"Shut up," she giggled, "ima cold. Wanna go to yours?"  
>Matt was taken back slightly. For one, it was usually guys that liked him.<br>"Sure," he smiled, as she slipped her arm into his own, "sounds like a laugh."

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><p>Matt glared at Mello, present day. Misa had just let herself out when the boys began their death match glaring.<p>

Eventually, "nice one, dickhead, you just ruined my only chances of getting laid this weekend."

"It's not my fault, and you told her I was a druggie."

"Have you seen my hair, Matt? Have you fucking SEEN IT? THIS IS YOUR FAULT FOR NOT GETTING ME MY CONDITIONER. GOD DAMN YOU."

"Whoa calm down, Mello. We'll go buy you conditioner now, and some tampons, I noticed your running low."

"Yeah go screw yourself."

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><p>"Matt this is weird," Mello whispered, feeling his best friends body weight pressed against him. Now don't get me wrong they were very drunk, and how they managed to get back to Wammy's and inside was a mystery.<p>

What was weird?

Mello felt the weight on him let up slightly, hearing Matt ask softly if that was better.

"Mello."  
>"Yes?"<br>"I love you."  
>"Okay."<br>"Let's have sex"  
>"No thanks."<p>

Matt settled for kissing him instead and wow that was awkward. Mello resisted only to have Matt press down against his waist and gently hold his arms in place. Mello bit his lip, but Matt barely noticed. After stumbling home with Linda and letting themselves in (Linda was sixteen that month so she was given a spare key just encase she decided to go out, lucky girl.) the boys had crawled into the same bed, fully clothed and giggling, and then Matt had promptly come onto Mello.

When the two boys were children, they never had to worry about anything like this, and when the first people at Wammy's in their time became noticeably into each other – Matt remembered going through cupboards with Beyond once when Beyond told poor, seven year old Matty about what A and he were up too – Matt made a silent promise to himself to not approach Mello about the conversation, Mello would've snorted and gotten angry at them anyway.

Yet here they were, fourteen years old, drunk, and sharing kisses.

Mello had never kissed a girl, maybe once or twice by accident and that time when he was 12 and he had to kiss Linda in Seven Minutes in Heaven. Ohthatgame.

Matt, however, had, but he was still horrifically self conscious and it felt a little like Mello was trying to get out from underneath him.

Oh wait, he was.

The second Matt had released Mello's arms, Mello began to struggle again, holding his tightly clenched fists against the older boy's chest and pressing.

"What're you doing?" Matt asked, breaking the case only to have Mello push him off.

"What are you doing? You fucking homo!" Mello screamed.

Far off on the other side of the home, Roger's eyes opened.

"Not another gay romance," he sighed, turning over and going back to sleep.

"Matt held out his hands, palms outwards facing, "Sorry?" he smiled.

Mello was too sober now to fall for him, "I DON'T LIKE BOYS MATT GET OUT."

"But my bedro-"

"SLEEP IN THE BATH."

Matt bit his lip, getting up and grabbing his Game boy off the table, before retreating into the bathroom with sheets.

When he was gone Mello sat there frowning, he was red in the face and his stomach felt like it was full of moths.

Mello didn't like boys in that way, he was sure of it.

But then why were the Moths in his tummy fluttering about so much?

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><p>"Don't you think she's hot Mels?" a twelve year old Matt grinned at his best friend.<p>

"yeah she's hot," Mello replied, even though her makeup was really sluttily applied and he didn't really like girls anyway. They reminded him too much of himself lojk.

"No Mels. I mean. REALLY hot. Reckon I might ask her out. What do you think?"

Mello smiled, "yeah ask her out, I'm *sure* she'll say yes."

Much to Mello's surprise, she said yes.

Well fuck.  
>And so that is how Mello found himself, on February 14th, depressed and alone, whilst Matt was out womanizing.<p>

Happy Valentines Day.

Mello watched the pair as they sat at their table, Matt grinning at her and her smirking slightly and looking awkwardly at her friends and that one glaring girl that also wanted Matt to be her own.

Matt is horrifically Mary Sue I swear.

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><p><strong>I seriously need to make this make sense. <strong>

**Review? (: **


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